So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
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Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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