bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize