he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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