I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun