I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..