Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Life is so much better after having sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16