It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
