Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
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Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
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What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.