Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.