There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.