Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.