i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
soo... how was my night?
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