Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
