she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize