It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
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You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
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i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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