i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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