No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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