You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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