I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She said her name was "party"
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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