Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
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You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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