Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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