I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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