Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
