Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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