I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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