Screwed.edu
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
