if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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