He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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