I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
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Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
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I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.