he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.