Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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