he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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