10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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