it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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