I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
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Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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