I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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