so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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