You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize