***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize