I murdered the dance floor call the cops
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize