i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
