how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
