You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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