did you get engaged???
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
