Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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