I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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