Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize