Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize