I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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