To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
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can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
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Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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