I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize