I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize