You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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