No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize