Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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