Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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