we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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